Dear Mothers

Hello my loves,

These last few months have been a challenging adjustment to put it quite simply. What was once a life as a Mother who was very much preoccupied at home 95% of the time. I now was throwing myself in the deep end and facing my fears. The fear of ‘Multitasking’ outside the home.

This overwhelming transition in being occupied both indoors and outdoors really shook me for a while. More so with a language barrier, however there are always ways of breaking these barriers. You only have to be brave, bold and never give an ear to any one else’s opinion on the struggles you’ll face. That my dear is for you to face alone!

What I wanted to get at is. My dear Mothers, you are not limited. As challenging as it is being a new Mother, or a Mother to multiples, always remember that there is more to you and life outside this precious role of yours. Be present with yourself and those around you, not just physically but Mentally also. Engage in life outside of those loving beings, because they will thank you for it.

Today I want you, to go and get that notepad of yours that you have been meaning to write in but you are too busy or too tired to by the end of the night because it’s late. Give it some dusting and a cuddle and sit down with a drink and pour your heart out.

Think for a minute, what are some simple things you want to do for yourself daily? I say simple, but in reality they’re big ladies.

It could be waking up before your child(ren) and or spouse and getting ready for the day. Taking a shower, choosing your outfit and getting your Morning Tea/Coffee. This will instantly not only make you feel good and, or productive but it will encourage you to go and do something that day outside of your precious comfort called home.

By you writing it down, it has become a goal and it will be programmed in your mind the night before. Set them and if you don’t do it tomorrow, don’t worry but accomplish them by the end of the week whatever it is.

Have you suddenly become overly housebound and worried about cleaning, meals and every corner with dust in your household? This is your wake up call. Loving yourself and taking care of you is an investment. After many years I’m only just learning this. I often blame, having no one to physically remind me. Meaning, Women (Mothers) in person that I can take example from in day-to-day life. You know what, be your own example today.

What about taking on other responsibilities, ones that you feel aren’t yours to think about. There’s plumping that needs to be done in the Kitchen? make the appointment yourself, be there when it’s being fixed. Unexpected bills or letters coming through the post? Don’t wait for your significant other, or just insist you’ll take care of it!

You have 2 kids or more in tow and the thought of the weekly shop makes your head spin? plan it and, go! Yes you and those lovely little monsters. Once a week, the main food shop as a family, do it. In fact, make a date out of it, share out those snacks and take the kids to a nearby park, or a nearby cafe or to visit family and drop by for tea and a quick hello.

Perhaps join a mummy/baby play circles for the Morning. Search for them yourself, encourage yourself and get out there. You, for one will meet new people and learn and gain information from your peers. You’ll be motivated by their success and you will come to know that you are not alone in your feelings or tasks. You may even start to take life a little easier and forget about that home of yours that barely anyone comes to visit anyway and even if they did they’ll probably be perplexed about your apologising for the mess, because in reality they don’t see what you see. ha!

Why not do some self-study? or a short course? (2/3) hours max, mornings always and you have the rest of the day to do chores or quality time with your loved ones. Plus, you won’t even feel guilty for resting if you did. You’ll break the idea of you not needing rest because your job at home to everyone else isn’t much, so you torture yourself into this Super Woman, guess what? You actually are Super Woman and everyone sees it so please do not prove it by harming your needs.

To quickly wrap up, I have witnessed for myself that you will tend to take care of yourself better, that you prioritize your time wisely, you are generally happier and more confident with your new challenging responsibilities. Nothing is ever easy, and the start is always the hardest but please, never remain stuck even if you feel you’ve been there too long to do something about it.

All this ticking off that dear notepad of yours brings about so much satisfaction and you are slowly getting out there and not limiting yourself. You feel more productive, you may meet others and find hobbies. Before you know it, your kids are in school and  you’ve built yourself up in the process and made yourself a little network.

I apologise if this post was everywhere, I hope it made sense and you know where I was getting at with this. Believe in your self ladies.

We’re in this together, you’re not alone, I promise!

Kisses,

Ilham

2 thoughts on “Dear Mothers

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