They always start.
There are those of us that prepare, preparing gets us ready mentally and sometimes, it is fun but the excitement dies down and then you are left with procrastination, or fear and for some of us it becomes self sabotage. A never-ending cycle that we just can’t seem to realise we are in. Almost like in a Coma, paralysed.
So, I haven’t been feeling myself since yesterday. Ok, I’m a mum and I’m probably not myself on a regular basis but I have just been feeling like my efforts are just not enough, every small milestone I should be applauding myself for thus far almost felt futile.
As today slowly went by, my self talk was really starting to irritate me, to the point where my shoulders felt heavy and I was dragging my feet, literal pin stabs all day I tell you!
As you can probably tell today wasn’t good in terms of self inflicting thoughts and I had to break this feeling..so I made myself a hot tea and searched for something uplifting to watch in the evening.
What I found was actually addressing the state of the self when one makes progress. So you might set yourself this goal and you’ll achieve it, you would then move on to the second, third or fourth process of your achievement ladder before you kind of become overwhelmed or even afraid that you may have over achieved ( for what you thought) you were capable of. So without realising you self sabotage. You stay stuck and fear progression all of a sudden when progression was all that kept you going.
It is a concept called “the upper limit problem” where you might feel sick to your stomach out of nowhere after the success of this milestone\achievement. You may feel irritated and start self sabotaging your efforts and belittle them, you might even go into this state of anxiety and downward spiral without even knowing why.. all because the reward is supposedly too great.
Apparently we all have a limited tolerance for ‘feeling good’ which is basically saying too much good can be too much to deal with sometimes, and so when we exceed our personal “the upper limit” we suddenly want to crawl into our comfort zone and we display that in different ways.
These feelings aren’t always humble, rather feelings that break you if you’re not careful and keep you stagnant, scared and unfulfilled. Fulfillment is desired achievement catering to your circumstance or where one is at in life. You worked hard, and progressed. You did that with YOUR own efforts and it is important you realise that.
I am so grateful that instead of sleeping on it I decided I was going to address my feelings. I can’t tell you what a Prayer alone, some warm tea (when you haven’t fallen asleep with the babe) & some reflecting can do for a Mother.
So back to successful people being ones that start, they are successful NOT only because they start but they do so before they are ready. It is that simple.
Keep going, there is no time like this challenging present.