Hello My Dear Readers,
So as I continue to thread upon this Self Healing Journey, I stop in my tracks from time to time in doubt of the progress I have actually made. Fear is so persuasive like that, it is always calling. The truth is, fear is always there and fear is always needed but fear should not have space to control you. It should have a seat beside you as an indicator or supporter in helping you face the thing(s) that doesn’t fit well within you, be that a situation/circumstance, an environment or people..
When I do happen to fall into moments or days of despair, I question myself. What is causing you to feel this way? breathe.. Be honest, it is ok. Now, how long did it take you to naturally pull back up this time? as opposed to six months ago. I answer myself, ‘3 days’.. again quite the ‘self conversationalist’ I am..well there you have it Ilham, the stretch is shorter, the pangs feel lifted and you actually felt it coming on this time and you dealt with it, even though you fought with yourself, you managed it. The believer is always hopeful.
Sometimes it is a healthy necessity to come into the dips to be reminded but more so, to be able to implement the lessons you’ve taught yourself again, and again and again. You were brave enough to acknowledged them, give them their right to pass through you and even if you have not yet mastered being comfortable with it just yet..LOOK back, but do NOT go back. Stop in your tracks and rest there for a while and when you’re ready to move again, you have a renewed energy that is ready to help you continue.
So, I wanted to share 3 ways to start off in training or better put ‘reprogramming’ your mind. I say reprogram because whatever has been downloaded into our amazing brains can also be unloaded. Whatever we have learnt can also be unlearned. Whatever society or people have projected onto us can be reflected back to where it came from. Whatever has been internalized can be externalized..ya3ni..I mean all in due proportion.
If, that wasn’t definition enough ey?! ..I know how many times I have to hear/read things to grasp it, so forgive me for blessing you with my context.
Our Subconscious mind is the predominate part of our brain and occupies around 95 per cent! Yeah, leaving 5 per cent to your conscience. Our subconscious mind is our unconscious (Sleep) state of mind which influences our behaviours and, or responses without us actually realising. The Subconscious does not judge or filter information, it just receives it. It is only accounted for taking notes and recording that information.
So, an example. Say, once a upon a time you were labelled and repetitively called ‘Stupid‘ growing up by significant people in your life and now in your adult life, you are always hesitant in attempting or completing tasks which you find challenging. You begin to tell yourself that you cannot do it, it is too hard, I will fail, everyone will think I’m stupid. You completely talk yourself out of it. Now, baring in mind you have not even attempted the task at hand.
This situation alone becomes a recurring cycle in your life, you then end up blaming yourself for the judgments you throw at yourself. You spiral into depression and anxiety, not knowing why you can’t achieve anything while also believing that you are indeed stupid.. Even though you have an ache to do the task, a yearning, a calling but you reject that based upon a downloaded belief. You feel lack and fear progression or proving your thoughts wrong. Now these feelings are a reaction or a reflection, or even behavioural result of what was initially programmed or downloaded into your subconscious.
Believe you are worthy and are capable of so much more than what your past experiences have revealed to you. Give yourself permission to step outside of the box.
- Start becoming more aware by confronting the thoughts you have. Lets say an emotion comes on, instead of convincing yourself otherwise of what you are feeling or attacking that feeling through self blame, or resorting to distractions. Capture the thoughts that come with the emotions. Sometimes we internalize things that have been spoken on to us and we end up unconsciously repeating it to ourselves.
- The first task will reveal things to you, if you are able to sit in it long enough. Speak them out aloud, yes you may be taken aback by the way you think. Write it down and ask yourself questions. If you wouldn’t like to speak those things out aloud, then why do you continue to think it day in and day out. Replace it with all the things you deep down know you are. You are Kind, you are caring, you are free of judgments..so why is it you judge yourself? Believe the things you want to be, if you aspire to be those things, you are already halfway there, once you let go of the false attributes that have been so deeply planted into your subconscious. By confronting and realising what your insecurities actually are, you are on your way to recreating the version of you that you naturally were born to be. How do you really want to feel? Practise that. Document, repeat and practise the good that you encompass and heal the parts of you which do not serve your well-being. Repetition is key, it is slow-moving but very effective.
- Solitude. Practise this, being alone with yourself for longer stretches of time. It is scary but if you are afraid to be with your thoughts and feelings then this is telling you something. You need it. Clarity, through prayer and Self Compassion.
I know a lot of the time it takes a really impactful event to awaken, however if you are stuck in a cycle of personal sabotage, then know you require contemplation.
Please keep me in your prayers, I wish you success on your Journey!