Hello My Dear Readers,
I often dream about writing here. This place means a lot to me, my previous blog also. I started back in 2013 one night while breastfeeding my second babe. I knew I needed it. However, what I didn’t understand is what it did for me.
I intended to film a video about this..but honestly, It’s not something I am ready to put forward.
I’d probably cry on you, get breathless. Say too much; or too little.
I am like an open book, you would probably be able to read my gestures more than my words.
Here I will share the Books that have helped me the most on my healing Journey.
I want to start off with a disclaimer; these books may reveal to you more than you had wished or asked for. It may cause you to lose some of the most beloved people to (you) in your life, in order for you to save your soul and sanity.
For some, bring you closer.
It will help you understand yourself deeply, you may have to live with these things but ultimately recovery is not about ‘getting over it‘ but rather managing it within your internal and external life.
Living with your trauma, but learning to live with it more peacefully.
These books by all means’ you will not be able to digest at once, and not everything will resonate. I humbly suggest for you to read the parts you need in those moments, then read it from cover to cover. Leave it for a few weeks or months even and come back to it sometime.
As you patiently mourn, and accept a new inner turmoil each week; you will go back to read that you have understood and successfully worked through a portion.
That is recovery.
Complex PTSD – From Surviving to Thriving By Pete Walker
This Book is for those who have suffered Narcissistic abuse by one, both parents or Caregiver/Spouse/Siblings/Friends etc. It explains codependency and where it stems from. You learn about the 4(F) models and where you/others may fit into them. It gives you a title, it names and identifies your situation to you in a way that you could NOT articulate yourself. It validates your pain and gives you realistic ways of working through ones healing. Most of the trauma you may have recently experienced, is a repeat of childhood conditioning and belief systems.
You can literally feel the Authors empathy; it’s warm. It helped me understand the cause of my Depression, Anxiety, Perfectionism and all the other isms’. It also helped in healing my depression because when one does not know the cause or root, then healing is almost impossible. Depression is a tough place to be. Without Allah I would not be able to comprehend all of this or be guided to this. This is one hundred percent a pleading DUA that I almost wanted to say was a slap in the face, but was granted to me.
The Drama of the Gifted Child By Alice Miller
This Book was a hard one to read, emotionally. I don’t know if it is for everyone. I personally benefitted from it. Some parts felt like it was talking about me and it triggered me like the above book many times before I could continue reading it. A lot resonated but not everything. I could imagine and could completely empathise with those scenarios. About half way into the book I decided to read up on the Author and I was a little taken aback, no judgement at all though. Life is strange and I guess to each his own path.
The Body Keeps the Score (Mind, Brain and Body in the transformation of Trauma)
By Bessel Van Der Kolk
This Book allowed another type of validation through scientific background to explain trauma and how the brain aswell as the body are affected. What the brain looks like during trauma, before and after. What and how recovery looks like. It is filled with case studies for one to be able to relate to as well as comprehend. I enjoyed this book and I had a lot of ah ha moments. I felt it came at a good time. It will always be a place of return for me.
The Untethered Soul By Michael A. Singer
This Book shook my soul in a beautiful awakening way. With each Book I mention it will resonate differently with different people. The Author has a unique way of speaking to you and the style in which he wrote this book is captivating. I restored belief in myself, in what I am able to control on spectrum from how I choose to welcome goodness, to how I choose to welcome disturbance. If you want to practice mindfulness and this ability to observe your inner dialog without being your own critic, this book is for you.
It is an internal awakening, it is spiritual and I can’t put into words how this book made me feel; it was special.
Those were the Books that took me on a deep grieving, honouring journey this year.
Each Book revealed something new.
I hope this benefitted you in any way and I wish you a healthy healing.
I’d like to remind you that in the end you have Allah, and He does not love oppression.