Peace be with you-
Gosh, Where can I even start?
Firstly, I would like to send you all love and light and thank you ever so much from the depths of my heart for being here (even you lovely silent readers), which is absolutely fine with me; I feel your warm presence.
I guess a New Season is upon us. A new decade. A chance to set new intensions. So again I am here to share some of them with you. Before I do so, maybe I should get a little uncomfortable in sharing some of the things I have released this past year, as well as the bounties of Allah upon me.
In 2019 I mourned, and deeply. Especially at the start of the year, I worked through attachment trauma & more codependency stuff- this time in connection to my children.
I mourned the fear of abandonment or loosing them. I mourned familial relationships and dug deep into forgiveness and exploring that, and truly experiencing what that feels like and giving myself time. I did a lot of shadow work around ‘Ego’ and really studied myself in that aspect.
God, I really felt like I lived 3 years in one this past year. Like, I received the barakah of time Alhamdulilaah. I grew, in many ways. I grew in self belief and even more confidence. I learnt that my voice will set me free and I am the only person who is able to give myself permission.
Sometimes God presents situationships to get you to crack and release. I prayed for this, and yet I was so desperate for the intense feeling to disappear. I literally felt like tearing out of my body. That bad. I guess this is my healing, and perhaps reading this may confuse you.. but YOUR healing, is yours and it doesn’t have to look, or sound like anyone elses’.
I feel I have entered my season of rebuilding, I have been rebuilding while releasing simultaneously- and that is how it goes. Break a knot, cement a brick. This is not to say things do not come up, it simply means I recognise them, they affect me less and I am in charge now.
As for blessings, I invested in myself fully. In the best possible way I could, a little each day. Some in bigger ways’ that I could only imagine in 2018, I dreamed it up a year in advance. I was always preparing myself for it, to receive. So, I will leave blessings here because there were many many small ones and even if I wanted to- I couldn’t count or mention them all to you but I will say this, chaos and beauty can really co-exist.
We’ve taken the lesson, we’ve grown through it, we’re letting go.
This is life.
My 2020 Theme is Love, Abundance, Expansion. I am seeking it.
Love, Abundance, Expansion in Self Love & Self Care, Relationships (all types), in Community, in Passions, in Employment, in Travel.
I am really looking forward to being intensional in this pursuit. These three words, are the words I will continue to come back to and explore anytime I am feeling in a rut, or I fall off track. I will read around this, listen around this and take action around this.
In sha Allah.
Very simple. I thought I’d share and I hope you find solace and inspiration.
your sister Ilham.