How to START loving yourself | Self Love for the REAL world

Hello My Loves,

I hope this finds you in good health and faith. I have recently been thinking of becoming more open with my discussions; MORE free and light hearted in a sense with harder topics. I feel passionate speaking on them. And I have truly lived these experiences. I honestly feel it would be of disservice if I kept my learning to myself. I hold back Alot..some topics still too sensitive to mould with wisdom; and this takes time and healing.

Other topics, I assume too sensitive for others. What I am realising is that, the things I share may not be for everyone and that’s ok. I am here to serve those who can relate; not EVERYONE.

So if you are a regular Blog reader, then I assume you are my audience and I’d like to serve you. Please, if there is a topic you’d like me to discuss in writing or in video via YouTube – message me I’d love to respond.

Meanwhile, I have a NEW video below. A hearty chat on Self Love..




Ramadan Reads 2019 | Video

Hello my love,

I thought I’d check in and wish you a Ramadan Mubarak in person (kind of) hehe!

I am on a spiritual high this weekend, Alhamdulilaah. I have been blessed to share Iftar with the community a few times as well as pray the night prayers at the Mosque (Taraweeh) and I am ever so grateful to my Lord. Just being in the company of people coming together for his sake, just to share and generously give; has given me so much hope and a warm feeling that will stay with me for the week ahead.

Despite me feeling like I am missing something, I am accepting the opportunity my Rabb wants to give me. I am trying to see the blessings of what is unknown to me.

I hope you see them too.

 I’ve linked a video down below just saying hello and sharing a couple of Books with you, and a little message.

I pray you are well, please keep my family and I in your Duas.




Love notes to single Mothers this Ramadan

photography of brown concrete dome building

This Ramadan I want to remind you that your Lord, Allah- He sees it all. He understands your weakness and there is strength in that if you are still willing to move forward and keep going despite the challenges that come with it all.

First love note: You are doing amazing, despite you thinking you need to do more. Right now it is enough, because you and I both know that if you were able to physically and emotionally do more, you would. Simplify your expectations of yourself and your life in this season of yours. Small steps toward yourself is healing.

Second love note: This is a time of survival, feed yourself well. sleep or take rest when you need to, yes during Ramadan! Guilt free. You need only show up healthy for the tending to your little tribe and for the basic requirements needed to fulfil Ramadan.

Third love note: Pray for yourself, remember to pray for yourself. Pray for your healing, your guidance, your health, your protection. In times of difficulty, it is so easy to focus on praying for the relief but pray for yourself in all aspects.

That is all from me my dear, patience and gratitude will keep you going and you will find some relief each time. In sha Allah



5 Pre Ramadan Self Care Investments

two massage table near palm trees

Hello and Asslamu Alaykum

Ramadan as I viewed it, used to be one of Self Sacrifice and preparing everything around me; except for myself. Humility meant deprivation- depriving oneself, tiring oneself and refusing oneself of the bounties of Allaah azawajal before the welcoming of this blessed month.

Ramadan as I viewed it, was lack of Self Care because, how dare I need more and still be forgiven. Was I not grateful for all that I already have? A comfy bed, plenty of food. Why would I possibly need these holiday extras when I am indeed preparing for a month where I should be giving..

Here’s the thing, unless you wake up and start deeming these things important, you’re not welcoming Ramadan the way that it needs you to welcome it. You won’t be truly present, you cannot observe from a place of genuine want, from a place of charity, from a place of desire to please your creator because you’ll be half hearted. Come into Ramadan this year filled with your needs so you can truly ask and fulfil Ramadan.

Here are some really worthwhile investments you could make before Ramadan to Help you kick start your Healing

1- Dental Hygiene/Cleaning

Plan a trip to the dentist to get your teeth cleaned. Teeth cleaning removes the bacteria that causes plaque and prevents you from developing Gum Disease. 

It freshens your breath, which is really a wonderful start to Ramadan, especially if you are interacting with people all day. Depending on your country, this may be something you cannot get access to a few days in advance due to a waiting list but the idea is to invest some money into yourself to do this according to when YOU want something done. Don’t wait around, maybe this could be an investment you make habitual and do every year just before Ramadan. This is actually my second year adhering to this habit, I’m doing this last minute too!

2-  Massage 

Massages can be awkward, especially if you’re shy or battle with body confidence. I would encourage you to shift your perspective of massages being a luxury to a necessity in dire times. Perhaps thinking of it as a medical need takes off the pressure a little by telling yourself ‘actually, I need this to Heal’ it’s a type of therapy. This is how you come into a mindset of caring for your health and Self Care. I recently treated myself to my first ever hot stone massage around two weeks ago while I was on holiday in Istanbul, Turkey. Some of the benefits of a hot stone massage include- opening of the blood vessels which encourages blood flow throughout the body. The hot stones can also relieve chronic pain, reduce stress and promote deep relaxation. There are many different medical massage treatments out there, it’s a new discovery for me and I encourage you to look into it.

Cupping Therapy/Massage

Wet Cupping or Hijaamah is a Sunnah (way of the prophet) peace and blessings be upon him. Some of the benefits of Cupping include, relieving back, neck pain and stiffness. Also, fatigue, anxiety and migraine to mention a few. If you feel that you have poor energy flow through your body, maybe it is a good idea to get this done before Ramadan? Although I would remind you, it is a good idea to leave yourself a few days to rest and recover after your treatment to eat, drink and so fourth before you do start your fast. Inform yourself and cater to your needs accordingly.

3- Suanas

If you have access to a Sauna studio near you, where you do not have to be a member. Great!! You could create a day pass on a females only day or males only day.  Going to the saunas is going to be an amazing way to kick start the detoxification process. It will flush the toxins out of your body through all the sweating you’ll be doing. It will improve your circulation and relieve stress too. I do miss a good sauna session, it’s been a while.

4- Visit your Doctor/GP or a Holistic Doctor

Visit your Doctor and take some tests to see if you are deficient in anything, use these tests as a guide to understand what foods you could include or up in your diet. For example, you may need more calcium. You would then of course try and increase your intake in calcium rich foods and drink. The aim is not to go in and get medicated, but rather to understand your nature and attune to that and serve your health requirements.  This is something I personally need to do and so especially if you are a Mother, please consider this.

5- Supplements

You may want to consider including some healthy supplements to help you through your fasting day. I am personally iron deficient and so during Ramadan especially, I try to be more consistent in taking my Iron supplement. You may want to consider what you need. Maybe some Omega3 supplements if you are not a fish eater or a Multivitamin. It is all a case of assessing your personal needs and preparing yourself in a way that will allow you to successfully get through your fasting day.

With that, I wish you all a blessed Ramadan and may Allah allow us to reach it and reap its reward!

Tell me in the comments, Which of the above Pre Ramadan Self Care Investments will you take action on NOW?




Coaching : Work With Me!!

Email Coaching ONE to One @FruitToFruition

Hello and Welcome,

Today, I have some good news to share with you all. I have decided to dedicate some time in working as a coach with some of you. This is something that I was inspired to do by a few rare souls who have requested this from me.

I often receive Emails and Messages on Social Media with your questions, queries, dilemmas and as much as I would like to help, often I cannot gain enough perspective to be able to help.

I have personally done my hard share of personal internal work and I am still doing the work, and I whole heartedly believe at some point one has to extend an arm to help others.

I have put much thought into the type of service I will offer, as I am very dedicated to my personal life and time is very valuable to me. For this reason the service I will be offering will be Email based for now.

Should you be interested to work with me, I will be offering assistance in ONE or more of the following areas:

Identifying your Depression 

Uncovering your Childhood Trauma/ CPTSD

Inner Child Healing

Understanding Co dependency

Navigating difficult people/personalities

Coming out of Self Neglect/Abandonment and into Self Care

Working with me ONE to ONE through Email is especially accommodating to you if you are someone who has a lot to offload and would like a private, non judgemental, and confidential space to do so at any given hour. This is especially for the HSP (Highly sensitive person) and highly empathic person, who often find it difficult to be offered help or receive it.

I have been there and I absolutely know that writing and communicating  this is the first step to providing you with a place to start your form of self expression and healing. I would love to offer that opportunity to anyone out there who finds it difficult to find a safe space where these topics are discussed and shared. These are real issues in our communities that are taboo, dared to be spoken about and often shameful. We will come out of shame and heal gracefully and I’m offering you the biggest step with open arms.

What am I offering?

You will have 10 sessions with me, that is 10 Emails over the course of 3 Weeks. 

I will send you a short survey where I’d like you to answer a few questions to give me some background. You are able to add or speak on further to this survey Email and it will NOT be a part of the 10 sessions. Our 10 sessions will begin once I have received some feedback from you on the survey.

You will gain:



Self Acutualistion

Self Compassion

Built Self Worth



I will be here to provide you with guidance and a shoulder to lean on, as well as recommendations and personal resources that will aid you on this journey.

The Email package is 10 sessions over a period of 3 Weeks and will be an Investment of 49 GBP in yourself.

You can Contact me here and I look forward to hearing from you!


Best Regards,



Questions you may want to know the Answers to..

Have you studied for this?

Not Particularly. I Studied a Sociology Degree which is the study of Human Society, Social problems, Structure, Systems and development etc.. So there is definitely a cross over!

Have you personally experienced and navigated Depression, Childhood Trauma.. etc the service you wish to offer?

Yes. First hand.

Is there light at the end of the tunnel?

Certainly. Faith and Self Belief are two areas that need nurturing along this Journey.

How will I know if this is right for me?

Honestly, you won’t. Unless you try. And then, you trust your feeling and make your decision.







Spring Reading Wishlist

photo of person reading book on beach

Well, Hello there!

So, I thought I’d hop on here and quickly share some of the books in my Amazon Basket. I’m super excited to share these with you, and I cannot wait to bring some new inspiring energy into my life. Books are Healing and super comforting guys, especially being a Mother, it helps keep my ideas and joy for mothering in check.

So, these first (two) I’ve already ordered and I am actually holding the first in my hand, delivered just this Morning!

It is called Year of Yes. – The description of this book caught my attention as the Author like me, is a mother to 3 children. She is in search of a Mother -Work life balance and this totally felt close to home. I also just want to learn to say YES to myself more this year! It’s described as a hilarious read, which I so need in a self-help book. The author commits a year to herself and her growth by saying Yes and she basically shares it ALL!

She is an actress, and I was a little held back by not knowing the series but I’d rather not and anyway I am not much into them. Super excited to get stuck in this Spring holiday.

This Book is called Raising Boys in the 21st Century. It will hopefully arrive mid April. I am really interested in understanding boys, especially from age 7 onwards. I’ve been having my personal struggles as a mother and I just think it is a lack of understanding on my part, especially as boys enter school age and the changes in their hormones. I am hoping this book will give me more clarity and understanding in how to approach changes and support them.

The next few books are in my basket and saved for later!

I’ll list them down below in case you are interested. These will be for you if you enjoy reading books on Mental health, Parenting and Creativity.

1- The Artists Journey: The wake of the Hero’s Journey and the lifelong pursuit of meaning By Steven Pressfield.

2- The Inflamed Mind: A Radical new approach to Depression By Edward Bullmore.

3- The last Child in the Woods: Saving our Children from Nature-Deficit- Disorder By Richard Louv.

Tell me, What are you currently reading? Do you have any Spring reads listed in your Amazon Basket? Please share!



Spring into a NEW You : Create Yourself in Seasons

photo of green leaf potted plants on window and stand

One of the best approaches I’ve taken in recent years to my life, is taking it in seasons. Not just in terms of happenings (circumstances) in life; which too has been a game changer! What I mean is, creating a new mindset, a fresh approach and giving myself and my energy a makeover; each quarter.

I realised that creating this habit of treating each season like a fresh start to life, would enable me to live better and more presently. I saw that each season was unique in what it had to offer, so I decided I would hone in on them- the weather, the activities, the clothes, the books, the foods, the beverages, the good and the not so good. Each season, required me to listen a little harder and make the changes accordingly. This provided me and my little ones with a rhythm and a flow to which each season would bring a new and exciting feeling. Becoming seasonal people has allowed us to live with less anticipation and embrace all that present living has to offer. We weren’t always like this and to be honest we’re still learning.

What I have found is that, as a Mother I have to be willing to give myself a seasonal make over. I have to create NEW intentions, a new mindset, new goals, new ways of getting out of my comfort zone each quarter. When I do this, things shift. I shift, by creating a new, more ambitious version of myself despite the failures of the last season, I choose to move forward.

I encourage you to spring into Spring with a new step, a rhythm and flow! If there is anything you think is holding you back, let go of it now with the season just gone. You are entering a season that requires you to bloom, and blossom, and everything around you is going to remind you of that.

Below, I share a few ways that you can create a NEW you this Spring or any other season for that matter!

58+ Stuning Minimalist Apartment Decor Ideas  #apartment #apartmentdecor #apartmentdecoratingideas

1- Create ONE new Self Maintenance routine that you never really considered for yourself to be important to keep up with regularly. Check in with yourself and create a small list. A fresh take on your look is a fun way to get new energy flowing.

Bring out your Spring hijabs, clothes, create a new meal plan, a list of new activities, treat your bed to some new sheets! Spread loving notes of change all around you. Notice how these things are all visible changes? Our minds have an amazing way of associating fresh or new with visible change. Really think about what that change could be for you.

woman in black hijab headscarf walking on field

2-  Plan something out of your Comfort Zone. Us Mothers have a funny way of being in the world, especially when our children are really young. What if we only let go of expectations, and predictability and lived a little more in the mess? in the unknown of things. What if we realised that our growth can only happen if we kicked fear aside and we did more of the things we’d hope our children to experience. What if we, ourselves experienced more of what we fear, and led by example. This Spring, plan something and do it for yourself to be able to grow out of fear and predictability. Invest your emotions, time, wealth into something that will grow you. This will be a gift to your children, tribe and community. As they say, there is no time like the present moment to dream anything up. Give each season a new breath to be remembered for.

white ceramic teacup with saucer near two books above gray floral textile

3- Create a Spring Reading List. Reading has to be an amazing way to step into a new season. Creating a reading list that inspires you and the season you are in is going give you a different outlook on reading. You’ll be giving each season something to remember it by and associate to. If you have been putting off decluttering; now is a great time to invest in some books that will help you welcome in the new season, especially if you are a sentimental person, or a hoarder!

There are many beautifully written guides out there which include life lessons that will help you delve past your initial story. One I read last year, and really enjoyed was called ‘Declutter your Mind’ and while it is about decluttering your mind, it also talks alot on decluttering your space and creating a new environment.

Book link:

If you’ve ever wanted to learn something new, travel, work from home or anything in between, there is a book for it. I urge you to sit down and think of some of the things you’d like to improve or welcome into your life. I am currently sat making my personal Spring Reading List. 

With all that said, seasonal recreation of yourself will be something that will keep you going when things get hard. It welcomes change, it allows for forgiveness and space for new growth to take place, despite what has passed.




Seek to Vision, dare to Dream


There is nothing like the present moment to create something. Creating a vision every day, and acting upon it intentionally is what creates the vision you have for yourself and ultimately your life.

I’ve always been someone to visualise or dream up anything I wanted to come into flourish before acting upon it. I did this because it released something within me, that made me feel as though it was already there, happening or that I had reached or received it.

Being a Dreamer or someone who creates vision, is not for everyone. True dreamers are not in a hurry, they are not held back by their day-to-day work or enjoyments. They deposit a little each day, so as not to ”feel” the pouring into or the effort and time spent building. Yet, the work is done and the pleasure is received; though the vision incomplete.

They work at cultivating the feeling beforehand.

I believe there is beauty in cultivating this practise, because it helps one to truly be engaged in the NOW and enjoy the process of whatever you are preparing for. You enjoy the process as though you’ve received the reward. You cultivate an attitude by becoming what you visualise.

I encourage you to practice this; while still working towards whatever it is you are creating. You should try living everyday as though it is your ideal, finding habits to tweak daily to make it that much more like your vision.

Where there is vision, there is hope.

If you truly want to cultivate a dream and bring it to life, then try this..

Invest in yourself a little everyday

When you invest a little everyday, it builds up. To have a vision, you need to first develop yourself. Read more, Eat better, Pray, practise gratitude and all the in-betweens as this will create a stronger sense of self and a stronger sense of the direction you’d like to take or persue in life. Be dilgent in this pursuit. Often, most people neglect phases of life based on where others are at or a fear of wasted time. Where growth happens, there is no waste. Honour your seasons and embrace them fully.

Take time out to write your thoughts

When you write things down, they feel more real. Do not underestimate the writing, it creates a need for action. Write often, write the same intension again and again if you need to.

Create a vision board in real life or on pinterest

I underestimated this one, I found it to be ‘not me’ but I did it once, and I’d do it again! Creating a mental image that you cultivated with your very hands- seeds itself into your subconscious, making it something you’ve created and need to finish. It doesn’t necessarily have to be for something you want to physically attain\achieive or manifest, it could be a feeling you’d like to have more of in your life, or a place you’d like to visit. The list is for you to create. Try something new to help you create and dream a little harder.

Live your life ‘as if‘ already…

This Blog Post is all about that, when you cultivate a life of ‘as if ‘it’s already, you are better at truly welcoming it. It is more the feeling you’re wanting most of the time. So, if you truly want to cultivate anything worth working for in life, cultivate the feeling that should come with it. Otherwise, life will become a cycle of need and never reaching the vision because the last wasn’t lofty enough. Create a vision and feel it before it has arrived. Create a vision that aligns with your ideal self, create her, re-create her often; dare to dream.

My dear, I hope you are brave enough to visualise your story.

Btw, that’s my Dream/Vision Board above 🙂

With love


A soulful Friday

good times & tan lines

Hello my loves,

I guess I said things a little out aloud! Apologies for my absence, but you know what I’ve learnt; that you’re only able to show up for anything as much as you are showing up for yourself. So, in short, you can only give, when you’ve given yourself equal amounts or more.

The last couple of Months have been me breaking through some DEEP work. What’s new eh?! ..the tests, and messages behind them I’m REALLY learning, God himself is teaching me.

So, whenever you feel crappy that, school and home didn’t teach you much. Be willing to ask Allah or welcome what HE wants to teach you. It is Abundant.

You are allowed to feel everything, you are allowed to hate the things that pop up and react to them as hideously as you sometimes do; but decree, you have to give in to. Once you truly do that (not fully there) personally, but what I have come to know is that whatever shows up within you, that internal rage and disbelief. That you can’t stand, that you feel isn’t YOU or who you want to be. Allow it, give it space. It decreases in affect as long as you are willing to learn and master what your ego\personality didn’t want to learn or accept before this point.

If you want to come closer to God, if you believe yourself to be a seeker, a spiritual person, learn about the ugliest parts of you, embrace the beauty in you that no one sees and thank Him for showing you.

Today I want you to do two things;

Number one; Renew your faith, act as if Allah is on your side (He is) and that He azawajal wants to see you win.

Number two; Go & download Operas Super Soul Conversations Podcast and listen to Her interviews with Eckhart Tolle on his Book ‘A New Earth’- Buy the book, follow along each Chapter, get your highlighters out and highlight. I am a busy Mother myself so I prefer to listen and enjoy, and get the ah ha moments FIRST and then in the evening read the Chapter and highlight some areas that stuck out.

Discover and work out a way that suits you, treat YOURSELF as a project.

With that, I wish you well and I sincerely hope that you’re able to take some action.

With Love,


Continue reading “A soulful Friday”

2019 Growth Goals

Hello my loves,

I know, it’s been a while. I pray this finds you in the best of health and faith. I appreciate you all so much, especially those of you who’ve been around this long.

So, I just want to get stuck in, I thought I’d share a few of my goals openly to inspire, or ‘actually’ get me to do them by openly proclaiming them to you all! No regrets hopefully !

Firstly, my biggest goal this year is to react less and breathe through it more. To truly trust Allahs plan like I did in some of my hardest times, which is basically on going in this period of my life. The reward is in the first time.

The more I am learning not to disassociate and actually confront my feelings, the more triggers come to surface. Which means less stuffing things down but more reacting. While 2018 was learning to literally be OK with feeling and letting out reactions, 2019 will be more managing them effectively and putting in place ‘reacting’ fall back solutions for when I trip, such as a planned go to Self Care remedy\rituals. As opposed to feeling shame, or unhealthy guilt and spiralling down from there.

Secondly, My GERMAN!! issa German.. inna German.. land!

The German language, My Journey started at the end of 2016. I somehow got comfortable with my new skill and progress and got lazy about it by the end of 2017. I actually gave myself permission to fall off to heal if I’m honest. So, I’m going into this, this time for my kids, makes it a little more worthwhile. Self talk: You’re into languages Ilham, you got this. Haha!

Yoga and Tae Bo. These are my mash ups depending on what I am needing. I actually finally have a list which isn’t just  ‘do’ (exercise). I’ve been off it since October 2018 after some overwhelm. I want these to be my go to’s as part of my Self Care choices also. I wish to do one class a week, either, or. that is my intension. Anything more (which I doubt most weeks) is luxury.

I also would love to do regular morning and nighttime stretches as part of my habitual routine. Haven!

I plan to Read more and continue Healing. Honestly, there’s a thing about dedicating a Book to each Month of your year that is empowering!! If I cannot remember anything about that Month, if anything I’ll have a Book. One I’ve delved into, studied, sat in appointments with, took on Self Love dates, fell asleep with, and incorporated into my life. This will make any year in hindsight worthwhile.

YouTube and Blogging. Videography is a fairly new hobby. Although, I did study Media Studies as one of my subjects at College and it was a unit at Uni. I guess it’s a rekindled passion. I remember one of my first ever videos, filmed and edited alone was a documentary on type 2 Diabetes. With those hefty old school Cameras. Total flashbacks as I type this. So, what I’m saying is that, although Filming and Editing are skills I’ve relearnt and crafted this past year, especially since having kids and being tech illiterate may I add. I feel,  being sat in front of a camera was the ultimate challenge and I’m glad I have overcome it, for the most part. So my intension is to continue in growing my channels content and provide value through my mundane and healing. I am looking forward to this Journey in 2019 In sha Allaah!

Self Care. Water, the struggle is real. I have had the worst teenage age 30 breakouts of my life this past year! lol. I know it is part of the HEALING which is great 😉 and I accept it but I guess I can’t get away with not drinking anymore. So I want to get better, for my poor organs!!!

As for Self Love, forgiveness is what I am wanting to work on this year. Especially since reading EAT DIRT by Dr. Josh Axe. He mentions this as being a root to health problems, even though it is a spiritual thing. It has a huge impact on ones bodily and mental functions. Pretty deep huh. I considered myself to be one to easily forgive; until you are really tested..

So those are some of my personal GROWTH goals right there!! Anything else is Life stuff, Faith and Kids.

I would love to read some of your GOALS this year? Do you have similar ones or anything different to make us RETHINK ours?